After the New Year, here comes Valentine! I can’t imagine how fast the days pass. It seems like we have just celebrated the New Year a week ago….

Then here I am haven’t changed much…only in size and weight, which I am trying to loose.

I haven’t blog in the past weeks (obviously) because, honestly, I am not in the mood to write anything, think of anything or even feel anything. I grow numb. All because I don’t know what to do, how to go about what I don’t know what to do and where to go to see what is it that I want to do and how to go about it. Simply put, even if I have set my goals for this year…I am lost.

My plan for this year is to go abroad and hopefully find a job there. My sister is going to help me on that. I needed to go away, even if I don’t want to. Maybe, it’s just the way that it is, you know. I have been looking too closely at my life for the past year, and I think I needed to step backwards for a while to look at the bigger picture. Like a painting. To understand what the picture is about, we have to take a few steps backward and see the whole of it. Maybe that is what I needed to do. Because, you see, until now…I am adding age, I still don’t know what to do with this God given graces.

The love that is overflowing around me which I mistake for something…uhmm…well a mistake…uhmm…often sets me off board. Here, I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what love is. I think I feel it but I am not sure if I really know it. That is one among the many graces which are God-given that I cannot handle, really, but wanted.

Sigh.

I am in love. But I don’t know to whom am I in love with.

There’s this one person though only that it is nothing to hope for.

So anyway, I just am not in the mood to recollect everything. I just thought I needed to update and say something. I am not preparing my self for the “love month”, too, though, if this post sounds like it. Hahaha.

So, that is all for now.