In my last post I said I am not going to speak of the fish. But due to an unexpected turn of events…I am writing in utmost fury about what should have not happened. Readers of this blog, I apologize for I will use a little of my dialect in relating what I feel, my thoughts, my anger regarding this demoralizing circumstance. In my earlier post about the fish, I hid him under such appellation to protect him. This time I am sorry but with whatever it is that came over you, I am going to name you.

The Blue Marlin, the fish is Marlino! (I am educated and I still have the decency to withhold your last name or post a picture of you.)

God! What came over you?!

How could you wish for me to die? What you’re accusing me of is completely unacceptable! You judged me too soon and you are charging me of a crime I have no idea where it came from.

Marlino wants me to die! He is so angry at me for something I did not do.


Marlino, whoever it is who told you, unmask the culprit to clear my name…I cannot redeem myself to you but I want to clear my name.

The other night, DonDon, a friend of both you and I told me, You, Marlino, said told him that I was no longer texting you. Yes, I intended not to. What is the point of pursuing my desire to get close to you? Everything was clear to me the moment they told me what you told them…which…READ: supposedly told only to me!

I have completely understood that. No holds barge, I am letting everything go. I know when to stop so I stop texting you and halted my intentions. But this time your/you’re cussing…is completely way out of my league! And I am so angry…very very angry with what you accused me of! I don’t hate you Marlino, I hate what came over you and for cursing me. More hate to whoever feed you with false information.

Last night, I sent you text. I texted you in my utmost desire to make it clear to you that I have nothing against you or with that hesitation of yours to tell me that you are in a relationship. It is such a given in courtship that either way could go. I know that. And I am ready on both…but THIS, I am not!

I am sorry but our short exchange last night has the need to be published. You hurt me so much.

Me: Kumusta? (How are you?)

Marlino: Sabi mo plan na bading ako! Ok! Fuck u! Putai ka. Back fighter ikang diputai ka! Someone told me. Kumusta k2 ungos mo. You said I’m gay! Ok! Fuck u! You’re a fucking back fighter. Someone told me. How are you in your face.)

Me: csay man kanimo kan nagsabi? (Who told you that?)

Marlino: abo kng sabiun kin isai. Ngata eman nabayad mo kong nagchupa? Nagpalubot? Ta cnasabi mo n bading ako? D tai ka mapapatawad. Matigbak nai kang diputai ka! ( I don’t wanna say who it is. Why eman. Have you seen me suck? Do anal? Why are you saying that I’m gay. I can’t forgive you for this. I hope you die, you fuck!)

Me: Marlino, uda ako sinasabing arog kan! I don’t know kin uno motibo ka nagsabi kanimo kan. Kn amo lugod an pg2bod mo, na ako malan raot, backfighter, o kin uno pa man uda ako maggbo kan. Basta ako, I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT! Ngata ta abo mo sabayon kn csay? Ako man a napaparaot knmo. Gusto ko yan comprontawon a tawo yank n tawo man a diputang an. ( Marlino, I did not say anything like that! I don’t know what motives that person has for telling you that. It that is what you believe, that I’m a bad person, a backfighter or whatever it is, I can’t do anything about that. --- why don’t you you say who it is? Its I who’s at risk to you. I wanna confront that person if ever that fuck is a person!)

Marlino: Amoi 2n edukadong tawo? Uda ika ipinagkaiba sa mga tawong mapupurol a utak. Putai ka! (Is that what’s being educated? You don’t differ from dull-witted people! Fuck you!)

Me: Marlino, ika bukong edukado. Bago kntana ika nagpuputok c2n ako muna knompronta mo. Ka one side mo man. D mo iniec kin uno yan matood o book. La mong raot magsarita. ( Marlino, its you who’s not educated. Before you blaze on fire, you should have aksed/confronted me first. You’re taking one side. You didn’t verify if what it is is true or not. You speak so badly of me.)

Marlino: Tama na. D nai ka magtxt. Bs2 ko na kn isai ka. Tnx sa ngamin na pagiging PLASTIK MO! GAGO! (Enough. Don’t text me. I know already who you are. Thanks for all the pretensions!You fool!)

Me: Grabeng judgment mo man i2n knako. Ngata ako mgpakaraot knmo na unang una malinig a intention ko knmo. Buko akong patal para pakaraoton a sadiri ko! CSAY KAN NAGSABI KANIMO??? (That’s a huge judgment you’re throwing at me. Why would I say anything badly of you wherein the first place my intentions to you are clean. I am not stupid to put myself in harm. WHO TOLD YOU THAT???)

Marlino: wat so ever! I don’t believe you anymore.

Me: Tama na. D nai ka magtxt. Bs2 ko na kn isai ka. Tnx sa ngamin na pagiging PLASTIK MO! GAGO!

if that’s what you think of me, so be it. amat sa mararaot na sarita. Malinig a konsensya ko. (Thanks for the harsh words. My conscience is clear.)

I am rational and a detailed person. I will decipher what we conversed about to make it clear to you HOW BAD that person MADE ME LOOK TO YOU…and how bad you made yourself to me.

No. 1 Marlino you’re accusing me I called you gay? Again, whoever said that to you has this enormous credibility for you to believe. He must be someone you are so close with for you to disregard my side.

No. 2 If you’re not gay, lets assume in this particular bullet (even if I did not) that I said that so…then why are you so affected?? Couldn’t you just shrug your shoulders? Why do you have to be so pitchy to curse me? With what you did, you just gave me the idea to entertain the thought that you are gay.

Again, for the record,I NEVER SAID YOU ARE GAY! Why would I? would it benefit me if I tell everyone you’re gay? Hell No! Marlino, think…THINK! I did not go to school to ruin people’s lives. I am not stupid to do that and put myself in hot waters.

No. 3 I am educated. So educated that I can confront you face to face and that person who fed you with this false information. Marlino, I am very open minded. My mind is not mapurol or blunt. Look, ika a mapurol a utak(its you who’s blunt), you are not looking at both sides of the story. You just believe what you gotta believe.

No. 4 “matigbak nai kang diputai ka”
and you wish for me to die? What a church-goer and a Christian you are! For something you are so sure that I did which I didn’t do, you want me to die? This is the most degrading words I have ever received in my entire 26 years of existence! Marlino, with what you have shown me, then and now, you disappointed me so much!

Regardless of such disappointment, you do want me to die for something you are made to believe I said? Who’s mapurol now? Is it I? or is it you?

No. 5 For that INSOLENCE towards me of that someone trying to make me the villain in this situation, is YOUR BASIS for telling me you already know me? For that very short time I hang out with you where we rarely converse, you are saying, YOU ALREADY KNOW ME?

Who’s mapurol now? Is it I? Or is it you?

Marlino, I don’t know you that well and I won’t take those unkind words you addressed to me against you. But that card you laid out won’t be taken off of you. You showed me that side of yours which is one part of you, that I am thanking heaven you have revealed to me.

No. 6 Thanks sa pagiging PLASTIK MO! GAGO!

I did not pretend. I showed you who I am. Didn’t I invite you at my house and let you sleep for a few hours in my bed? I laid out my intentions to you earlier that it shouldn’t have been. You, on the other hand, seemingly disregarded that. And that is fine. Several times I asked you…you did not answer. You only seemingly put on interest and was kind towards me. I guess I was GAGO to assume your interest, but guess what, I am not GAGO to not know what to do in the event my assumptions prove me incorrect!

In my previous post I was angry with what you did…but I just let it cool me off. But this time, I am asking you, Why do you have to forward my text to DonDon? That text I sent is for you alone not for everyone or for any one else to read. I asked you a question, did you answer me? No, you answered DonDon my question.

I don’t know what both of you talked about but please, if you’re educated as you imply that you are, you should have the decency to have it known to me, not to him.

I was so GAGO to be the last to know! How could you?!

And then you’re calling me PLASTIK! GAGO! ? For the GAGO part, I maybe am and I admit I was GAGO to believe that you are a good person. You know what, Marlino, this time you showed me otherwise. I was so GAGO to believe in you.

Me, PLASTIK? I showed you who I was full of good intentions to win you. I did not deny the fact that I like you, did I? Did I harass you? If I am a bad person as you think now that I am, I should have taken advantage of you so many times. Marlino, I may be other evil things but I am not like that. I am not PLASTIK. I don’t pretend. What I am is what I am. I don’t need to pretend. I am in content with what I have, and who I am and who I am aiming to become.

Marlino, what were your intentions for getting together with us, aside from tita Lau’s invites? I have no biggie to ask you that but because of all these, I wanna ask…to make it clear to both you and I who is the PLASTIK between you and I.

No. 7 You told me FUCK U / Diputai ka / Putai ka 5 times!

One “fuck you” or diputai ka/putai ka I could take, but five??
Marlino, I wouldn’t be in a fury like this if I said something like that. You can “fuck you” me all you want if I did or said something to degrade you. You have no right to bad mouth me! You and that culprit seemingly belong together for your cursing me as hard as you could. May heaven forgive you for this.

So what’s the point in all these??

You are judging me for a crime I did not commit. I don’t need to redeem/regain myself to you. After all, judging from the cusses, you already have closed your doors on me. What a tragedy!

AND YOU!!!! WHOEVER YOU ARE… I hope you are HAPPY! CHEERS TO A JOB WELL DONE for ruining two people’s lives, and a chance for acquaintance and friendship. Do you know what KARMA is? Here’s hoping you get them a million times in this lifetime and a billion times in your after life. I pity you. You are very insecure, you are who must be called a back stabbing bitch! Unmask yourself you culprit. You fiend!

AND TO YOU MARLINO, I don’t hate you, the fact is I like you. I LIKED you. If you think because you rejected me and my vengeance to get it even with you is to tell everyone your gay… I am sorry but my parents, as well as the Augustinians and the Jesuits, didn’t brought me up that way. I know how and when to accept defeat. And I don’t do vengeance. I pity you for believing that, I, Emmanuel Julian, is a back fighter, uneducated, blunt, PLASTIK and a GAGO from someone you cannot even unmask.

This publishing these thoughts is neither revenge nor defeat. This is to make you understand I did not say anything negatively of you. And I will not tolerate such insolence from someone who’s soul is already burning in hell.

I have not been so demoralized in my entire life!

I will not dawdle and put a closure to this just like that! I want to discuss this with you together with that fiend. That’s what EDUCATED people do.
I know you are in rage right now from false information and I respect that. If you’re ready to discuss this with me, let me know.

Your last text [was] “wat so ever. I don’t believe you anymore” is your prerogative. I, also, respect that.

But come to think of it, Marlino. This is my side of the story. And if your doors are really closed on me, I am sorry to ask you this but I have to:

Who is plastic, who is uneducated, much more, mapurol now? Don’t you think it is you?

P.S.

Marlino, thank you for giving me a very merry Christmas wishes and a very very happy New Year. You spit me out and you crushed me! What a fun way to start the year….


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Readers of my blog, I am not after your sympathy. I just wanted to let this anger out regardless of what this may result to. However, going back to my senses, this is a stupid post and I am being stupid. I am contradicting myself this time and this post could harm me. What's remarkable is, I dont have any enemies. I dont consider Marlino, or that 3rd person my enemies. But to overreact, in the event that something bad happens to me, having been cursed and betrayed by someone unknown, these persons are suspects. Basing from the piercing words I received last night, I dont know what he and this unknown person is capable of doing. Just for the information of every reader of this blog.