Mary Alice Young said, “human beings are designed for so many things but loneliness isn’t one of them.”

My desperation on so many things in life made me wonder if I am lonely. I feel loneliness from time to time and it makes me binge or exercise a lot or work on my chores heavily that I forget to eat. My emotions betray me all the time whenever I encounter insecurities that beset me. And my diversion varies.

Weird. But is there anyone who feels the same way as I do? Let me answer that myself, YES! The real question is, how do they deal with it? I know it’s strange that some people spend their money on therapies or indulging on self help books but I sometimes wonder if they really do help. Do they? I know questioning Freud or any psychoanalyst about what they do is deliberately silly! It’s just that at times, as human that I am, brazen with thoughts of contradictions, even the easiest questions with one snap answers I still question.

See, I need help or else I’ll end up one of the lunatics this town has. Speaking of lunatics, yeah, this town(Nabua) has lots of them. I’m not sure if I should be afraid of them or not. Some of them have this impeccable craziness. Oh, impeccable, quite not since they’re crazy already. If ever there is such thing as “the perfect craziness”, then you’d understand what I’m talking about. But what I’m truly saying is their way of thinking seems alike. The only difference is that if they’re violent or otherwise. I’ve encountered a few violent “loonies” and they are downright scary! Now you see, this is crazy! I am talking about how lonely life is and then I am suddenly talking about “Impeccable Craziness”!

Let’s come to think of it for a second, Loneliness. And I have a personal question for you, are you happy? I know some of you will throw me back a question like, it depends on what do you mean by happy, in what sense. The deeper sense, that is. I know even the happiest person encounters some loneliness in their lives and they are never really happy at all. Ever since I was young, learning things about life while growing up, looking for precise answers on the void and the longing-ness to complete the equation of life, I’ve said to myself, lacking basis and theories as to why, we never are happy until we face death. I have this little speculation going on in my head about death that none of us will leave the face of the earth unless we completed our mission. We are not going to die unless we understand the true meaning of happiness. Thus, we are lonely as we go through about life.

We smile. We laugh. But in my opinion those bliss are temporary. Permanent happiness is somewhere else. I actually don’t have the idea where. Christians/Catholics believe it’s in the after life. Even the Hindus believe it’s with the Krishna. No matter where happiness lies, it is, in my opinion, in fact temporary in this earthly life.

If only making heaven on earth is possible we possibly would have complete happiness. I’ve never been to heaven and my assumption is it is a happy place basing from the illusion or to put it lightly, imagination of intellectuals. This world would be a happy place if that is possible. But like I said, it is not. You may ask why. It is just not possible. There will always be people who will contradict you, hurt you and think of any one of us inferior over them. With the lack of respect,and love that we needed from others we are lonely. In the absurdity of it, that is human nature.

And so, the world is lonely, admit it to ourselves. But it doesn’t necessarily mean we cannot deal with it. Yes, we humans are designed for so many things, that is why we have ulterior actions to make our lives less lonely. The only matter is, some times, there are people who will use somebody or some one for their own well being. Some turn to illegal substance to ease what they’re going true. They do know it is not their true friend but it is a big big question why they always turn to them. Some people, if they feel that their loneliness is too much, they break down. Snap. They’re crazy, worse, gone!

This leads me back to the mentally ill individuals in this town. I assume the causes as to why they are crazy, vary and the cure is endless. Sad thing, they don’t get cure even if we can say cure to the mentally challenged individual seems endless. Soon they will get crazier, will become ill and they’ll die.

So what was their mission in life? I must admit, my little theory faces its first rebuttal. And I admit, I do not know what their mission in life was or is. Yet surely, there is a complex truth that they have lived their life and their mission and then they faced death. I don’t know the precise detail but I know they did.

Loneliness is such a complicated state of the mind as complicated as living in this world is. We search for answers to our questions. We do things to ease the burden that we carry.

Loneliness, why are you such a lonely state of the being? I sure cannot conclude what I am saying here for the search is just about to start.

Our mission in life is to live a happy, simple and in Godly tune. Yes, loneliness shouldn’t conquer the whole of us. Last night I was thinking if I should agree or disagree with what Mary Alice Young, narrator in Desperate Housewives said, if loneliness isn’t designed for the human life. Hearing that being said in a particular episode caught me utterly clueless, Sadly, I didn’t arrive at a conclusion. But now as I sit here and run my calloused fingers on the keys, I say, it is indeed not designed for the human life. Then why in the world do we feel such emotion? We, design it ourselves to make life complicated. I don’t know as to why. Perhaps there are just some needs that we cannot fulfill, make lousy decisions and when it's too late to turn back caused us to be lonely.

What I philosophize here is, again, nonsense. I cannot organize the thought and the emotion of what I needed to say. And in that little – of - a - thought, I am lonely. In my mind and in my heart, I know something about the subject. There are some needs I needed to get. A void I needed to fill. The only precaution I should take notice of is when on the event that I cannot carry the burden anymore, there must be someone to guide me and hug me. Yet, as of the moment, loneliness shouldn’t seize me. I am lonely I guess and the cure is not endless.

Charlie Chaplin once said, “I always like walking in the rain so no one can see me crying.” Express loneliness ladies and gentlemen. It is a choice. Deal with it it is healthy. Disregard it, and you are an incoming nutcase.

There is so much to do, so much to learn, and so much to discover rather than be lonely. What we needed much is to be strong and face the adversities of life.

Correct me if you think otherwise, but yes, I agree.

“human beings are designed for so many things but loneliness isn’t one of them.”

In the Ocean...

I think I found yet another fish.

a blue Marlin...

I hope I'd catch. :-)