Two more days and another year. Another struggle. Another challenge. And another shot of life’s experiences, heartaches…and lessons.

Here is the time of those resolutions among everyone again. Which, to most of everyone’s dismay, is never ever realized. Some, maybe, but most don’t. I, for instance.

Before this year even started I haven’t laid out my own resolutions. Its all UNDERSTANDING and ACCEPTANCE. Those are the words, which sums up everything, I have written in my imaginary paper in 2007. Funny how it seems that resolutions are, also, meant to be broken, like promises.

I have UNDERSTOOD and ACCEPTED a few hurtful facts about my life but I really never got over every bit of details about it. I don’t need to enumerate them all. I am just broken. 2008 was supposed to be a great year. Somehow it was. I have a job. And that’s one thing I am thankful for for this year. Not to mention I am still alive and full of life: Full of life’s never ending lessons of pain…and this f*cking love thing! The rest of my 2008, I’m just glad I got through all of it and learning to get out of it smoothly. Three more days and I hope this last thing that have me heartbroken which was so uncalled for will be left behind as the clock ticks 12 on the 31st welcoming the 1st day of the year. Uninvited emotions can sometimes betray you. Can you imagine someone who gatecrashes a gathering and made you a little miserable for the rest of the gathering? That’s how I feel. This uninvited feelings just opened my door, not ajar, but actually gently unlocking the bolts and then slam it! See? And it’s the last month of the year. Something which can, one way or another, mark the year. Like, it’s something that will make or break my year!

So for this year, my word will be LEARN.

LEARN.

…to fight.

…to LOVE ( since LOVE has got me all at the wrong sides )

…more of life

…about Life ahead.

Yes, there’s a lot of things to LEARN. And I will. I will LEARN all this that breaks me. I will LEARN how not to be broken by uninvited guests.

Three more days, and please let me be happy. And by happy I would mean, complete destruction of the links that made me feel awkward for the last few days. Like what I always tell my ex bestfriend when we talk about how we view life and painful experiences from people who have hurt us along the way, “I was born without you and I can live my life without you”. But- please, don’t get me wrong. I am sour graping. Its just I who made myself troubled for the past few weeks. My heart doesn’t wanna work with my mind. My heart is very uncooperative with my rationales. So I am not blaming anyone. I am blaming my heart. That’s why my word for the year is LEARN.

…just LEARN. That’s all I have to say.

I have no detailed resolutions at all. Perhaps I just wanted everything to let be. TO let be, I have to LEARN its art.