Okay.

My fingers are touching the keys and beginning to speak. I was battling for almost 2 hours now if I should write something or not. Blogger is wide open on a separate window, minimized, while i browse blogs, or just about any link I click, and be taken there. You see, I am fucking bored...when wasn't i bored(?), you may notice but damn(!) this boredom is like no fucking other boredom! School has started for most of the highschool people around the neighborhood and college starts next week. And where does that take me??? Nowhere. For another six goddamn months I will try to fugure out what the hell should I do with my fucked up life. Not that I am able to do anything that needs a lot of strength already, but at least anything that is (like what I have mentioned in my earlier posts) rewarding, income generating and worthy of my time.

I am actually persuading my transvestite friends to teach me how to paint someone's face from the well known lancome, maybelline, etceteras to the most common masa make-up, Ever Bilena. My transvestite friends are, i suppose I should say innately capable of doing someone's face and making them shine with glamour with the help of those cosmetics ("doing"(?) it sounds like, horrible!)! How do I say that, is it making - up or just plain make - up? It is a common stereotyping form of a hobby and profession in this side of the country for homosexuals. That is why its a tough to argue when some kid or just some old aged tambay, who thinks he/she knows so much, thinks that beautifying some one with make - ups is a so gay thing. So, I am thinking as well, that if i give in to developing the "make-up" skill i will be tagged as so gay even if infact it is true that I am gay (minus the so). Anyway, the point is, I dont have anything to do. I can't think of any other ways to spend the days of the year and make money. At least, if i know how to make - up then I can join my transvestite friends whenever they have bookings wherein they can be paid a satisfactorily amount of sum, or, be a parlorista for the rest of the year just to have some bucks to save and pay off my huge huge mobile phone bill. Phone bill that I have no intention of disregarding. If i just have not had been into that car accident and broke this beautiful now ugly legs, i will not have this huge amount of debt! WAAAAAAAAHHHH!

My younger half gay brother called this afternoon (and yes, I have a half brother and he is soo gay!) and we chit chat some gayishness over the phone when I asked him to teach me how. And you know what he said? He said:

"adi man ah si diday, ta kukumpetensyawon pa kaming mga okang!!"

(its hard to translate it but what he meant was that I shouldnt try to learn it cause i should not compete with them gays in earning money by doing make - ups)

in his very gay, fast taga-iriga way of speaking.

So you can't blame me if this blog SCREAMS of SADNESS. I got an email from someone nice and told me this blog screams of sadness, which is true, apparently. Yea, i think I have emotional issues to sitdown and talk with with a therapist but that is not the case. Whatever emotional issues I may have are not that big of a deal. They are, if I may say, just an attack of premenstrual cycle symptoms if i were a girl *laughs* and some emotional issues with some attachment to my past that i know I need to get over and done with. Eh, ganun talaga, there are people who are born with a silver spoon and some people with no spoon at all something to that effect, if ever that makes sense. Silver spoon, beauty, or just about anything lucky in this world are some things I lack and i dont wanna think about what I lack. Nakakainis isipin (its hard/annoying to think about) what I dont have. So I should focus on what I have. And that reminds me of the Gulong ng Palad(wheel of life) jest my friends and I talk about all the time. We jest about who's wealthy who's not among us. Dont get me wrong, because we are all not wealthy money wise. We just wanna joke about who is rich and who isn't. Of course each one of us go for the im not rich way.

By the way, our TV exploded early yesterday morning. Without the TV as the given for entertainment is one thing which added to this boredom. It exploded when my grandpa plugged the the tv to the usual 220volts outlet when the tv works for a 110v. Its my fault why it exploded. I took the transformer used to convert the volts to my room and/to use it for the portable dvd player i borrowed from AnnaLeah yesterday. I was thinking of leaving a note not to use the TV but I guess I forgot. I forgot because of my eagerness to watch damn porn in my dusty unorganized room, on bed free to masturbate any moment i feel like doing so (which I did as a matter of fact and came twice). So that short moment of visual pleasure ended up for until who knows when longing for the mainstream entertainment. Whew! Fucking horny(ness)!

Lastly, for the whole month of June, I have my childhood friend-neighbor Olga to hang out with. She came home last night from Manila because she doesn't have work anymore and is yet waiting for a call from her employer. At least, for, maybe 30 days or so, I have someone to chat neighborhood gossips, kakulitan, kasigawan at kabaklaan, and basically just hang out with if everything nice when in solitude fails.

The Pornstar in me is back

Want more of this?

Its funny how close friends react to these kind of pics I posted. Some are at Friendster and.. well... I am glad to make them laugh their heart out when they saw them. I am not offended when they say I am fat (cause I am fat) or that I have a lot of guts to pose such as above or that I am a porn starlet or anything of that sort, as well as saying that those kind of my pics are best for Gigolo or Valentino (gay tabloid magazines in the Philippines I havent heard about until a gay friend commented about the pics). For the love of God(!!) spare me from those magazines! But anyway, even if they can't read this, I wanna say Thank you to all of them who have laughed and said good funny comments at my pics, no offense to yours truly cause they were laughs at a good way. I wanna see how people close to me (or even passers by on this blog if there are any) reacts to my artsy work coupled with my naughty side. i am gonna post the other remaining pics unless i get comments within this week for this entry. If not...well, i am gonna post them anyway still hahahahaha. Please, be kind, click on Comments and say something...anything.