my question last post was finally answered. there is no need for verbal affirmation. i just felt what the answer would be last night when we get the chance to sit by the stairs and talk. not serious talk at all. most of the minutes that passed by was silence. only a few words of telling and asking simple things about simple matters. by the way our conversation flowed (which i do not feel like elaborating), made me conclude that i need not ask. the gestures, the side comments, the smirks answered the question.

Few days before that, I emailed my friend janis the same question. I always trust her on her opinions and advises. She laid out every possibilities if i should or i shouldnt ask. Reading her reply made me decide to ask the person involved. i was ready...for every possibility. I have nothing to loose. I can ask it and either way, i still can get away with it be it a yes or a no.

yet suddenly when im all set to throw the words, the sudden flow made me hold everything back and finally decided a no. It hurts a bit not to express what i feel, but what to do. Life is all about pain. No worries though. Like always, move on to the next. Right?

Would you tell someone you love/like them even if you know for yourself that there is no chance the two of you will be together?

Maybe.

I asked a few people if they would. They wouldn't. Most of them answered that they do not want to feel embarassed or have their pride down the drain about the consequence, which most probably, a malicious reaction on the part of the person you want to express this hiddden desires to.

I'm battling if i should or i should not tell this someone I like"it". By "it" I do not mean a non existent being. Let me address this person as "it" so as not to determine the gender (but most of you would have guessed which gender anyway. for the sake of it, let it be "it"). The first time i saw this person, I knew I like "it" instantly. "It", was walking in the hallway when "it" moved in the building where i live. I was closing my door heading for work when our eyes met. I saw a tame smile on "it's" eyes. Like a dog's eyes looking at you. So kind and sweet. But, it was like, a seduction, somehow.

From, then on, the sleeping not-so-romantic in me was shaken and is persuaded to wake up, stand up, and go on with another love quest. The thing is, "it" is engaged to be married. has kids and is focused on finding the self in "God's presence" and making future better. well, what do I have to argue with that? "it" has responsibilities, while, I, well...don't. I was thinking of rattling "it's" well laid out plans in order for me to, you know, make "it" like me back. Even if, by all laws of nature, what I have in mind is not possible and not right, my stubborn self still wants to make the go.

Fast forward to now, this love quest have me facing the same dilemma I always get when it comes to loving! Oh how sad it is to fall in love when you know in your heart the person cannot love you back. So let's say "it" is also devilish to say yes to me and be with me for the rest of the Dubai stay. I'm guesing my conscience will not take the guilt of cheating someone or myself of this emotion. And, the pain to endure after the short game. If that ever happens, who will feel the pain most? Not "it" but I.

Another case of unrequited love for me.

To be rational is much advisable at this point in time. Yes? So before anything gets worse, perhaps I should focus on what will be best for me (which, at the moment, I'm not sure what could it be).

So I asked a few people if they should tell someone you love/like them even if you know for yourself that there is no chance the two of you will be together? i got the same answers. While looking back, all the same stupid thing happened to me way way back. The last time was in 2006 with the Fish. Two years before that was with one troubled individual and years before that was with Jeff. The funny love story of yours truly. How sad! All one way.

This time, I guess i should hold on to my horses and not to make the same mistakes again or the embarassment and broken pride i have endured. I'll take the advises. i'll let go of the feeling and focus.

So anyway, i had no great loves neither have one, sadly. I'm almost behind my age and I'm still the NBSB (i'm sure y'all know what that is) I've always been. There's definitely something wrong about me to be single all these years!!!

I need professional help, don't ya think?

Last Week, I reported my stolen phone to the police and the police was helpful in recovering my phone. Unfortunately, they didn't go beyond calling my old Dubai number and pursuade the thief to give it back.

I went to the police station 5 days after it was lost (or stolen) because this guy who has my phone was calling the numbers in my phonebook using my own number! i don't know if he was using my iPhone or he figured out how to take the sim card out of it and put it on another phone or that he has bought a charger. So he was calling the ladies in my phonebook and you know what he tells them?

"wanna fuck?"

Women in my phonebook who have, in any way, means to contact me sent me messages telling me that this guy was harrasing them. So, I went to the police and reported what this guy is doing. But - I was wrong to think they can track the SIM. They obviously cant. I kept on asking them if they can track it, they keep on anwering me in silence. So I gave up hope in recovering that phone.

Finally, last Tuesday I called the network to block my SIM. This guy has called so many people in my phonebook and that day these people called me and sent me email messages that this guy is so fucking sick! So before i could get in trouble because of what he is doing and that there is no chance for me to have my phone back, i decided, kalas, what to do yanni, I lost 6,400 AED. Let go of it.

But everytime I see people carying, using their iPhone, I can't help but feel so sorry I lost mine and i spent so much on it just to have some sick individual enjoy what I have worked hard on to get it.

Who would have thought that in this Muslim country someone would actually steal??

I lost my iPhone 3G. Someone stole it from me. Someone took it out of my pocket! And I am so stupid not to feel that my expensive phone is silently slipping away from my Adidas shorts through someone elses evil hand!

I tried to call my phone until now. And this thief answers! He bargained that I give him 2000 dirhams in exchange for the phone. I said yes I will, but when I ask him where he was he hungs up. I keep calling with the same dialogue on and on until he said "give me a lady to fuck"!

What is this? Arab-Muslim country and there are people like this???

I asked this thief where he's from. He said he's from India. But my brother-in-law called me just a while ago because he called my phone and he told me he sounds arabic, the accent and the way he speak. Even when I spoke to this thief, he doesnt sound Indian at all because the way Indians speak is very distinct. It is in a fast monotone way.

So he's Arab. Arab not from here. Perhaps a levant because I have faith that this Muslims in this country and in the GCC would in fact not steal, and talk like the way this thief wants to devour a woman!

I'm in desperate measures! I want my iPhone back! It cost me more than my monthly salary and thinking about loosing such amount just like that makes me crazy! I called Etisalat, my prepaid service provider, and ask them what I can do. Since they dont support the iPhone 3G in this country, all they could do is block my phone number. Not the phone!

I worked for US based telecoms Sprint-Nextel Communications and they have the ability to block phones, All we need is the serial number and the IMEI, input it in the sytem we use and the thief cannot use the phone! Even in my country, National Telecommunications Commission have away to make a phone not work in case it was stolen. Etisalat told me they have no software to do that.

I thought this country monitors everything, from text messages to phone calls?! But it seems they cannot. i asked three associates from Etisalat if they can pull up the numbers from my sim or monitor any recent activity on my phone, and they said NO. I know they can't because its prepaid. But i was thinking this country is advanced in terms of technology, that they could go as far as that for a prepaid service. I thought wrong. All they told me is to report and file a complaint to the police and maybe, MAYBE, they can do something. I asked them if the police will be able to trace my phone and they all said "you have to check with the police if they can". What kind of an answer is that??

Well maybe the police can. So i will go there on my day off and file a complaint about this thief. Thats my last resort. If they can help me locate the thief, shut that iPhone entirely, or not. Because i even called Apple and of course they can't do anything as it is overseas, police is my last option.

I guess the iPhone is not for me. Some people say, "dont worry, something better will come along"! But that is just plain BullShit! You know, all these kind words just to ease the "pain" of YOU getting robbed of your most prized possession! I mean, I understand they're trying to be sympathetic, empathic and all these f*cking BullShit, but man, 80,320 pesos is too much to loose, or is it not??

What to do yanni? My iPhone is stolen and the thief is enjoying my expensive phone. His Arabic and he's Muslim. May his God forgive him for what he did.