This day, perhaps, is the saddest day of my career life. First it was the Chinese, now it's the Moldovan. There's also one pending, the Uzbekistan. When we left Mall of the Emirates it was sad. The Lebanese who I worked with for 2 years was transferred to another department. I was also close to him, as far as I am concerned. But that was a different story. We still work for the same company. Chances are, we will still be working together. For the Chinese and the Moldovan, they're moving on.

I am happy for both of them. The Chinese landed a good job and I'm really glad for her, however, it's sad something has ended. Now the Moldovan. He still have a month to cover until he transfer to another job. After that, to work in the environment I have been so used to will change.

Life goes on so they say. But for someone like me, it's a little bit hard to continue. It may take days until I fully recover to a kind of a loss.

Like I ranted on facebook yesterday, I hate getting attached to people or things. It's hard for me to let go if the time has come to let it go. I told my friend about it and she was right. I am too stiff and need to loosen up a bit. There are many ways to feel happy about everything. Leaving is just another beggining of something new, both for them and for me.

They are not my friends thats why it's strange why I feel this way. I must have been to confident that I will be the first one to leave them.

I remember I have this idea that I made up whenever someone has to leave, especially those who I just met be it in a short term or long term. I always tell my friends, as a cover up to my seemingly courageous front that, I can live my life without anyone because I was born alone in this world. It would be hard if since the beginning of my life someone is there and suddenly has to go. Something like that. Inside me though, I am breaking. That's why at most times I'm very cold in terms of my relationship with people. I am afraid of getting used to and suddenly leaving me behind. Sometimes I forget this and my real self comes out and get too clingy then--- baaam! I break.

I know that "change is the only constant thing in this world". And we all have to accept that, be it for good or not.

It's just a little too abrupt for me. I know I can move on eventually. But the process seemed to deem heavy for me.

I've decided, I needed a break. Comes my vacation, and on my 30th birthday, a lot of things has to change. I'm almost halfway my life and I need to make it big on whatever path that may be.

And I say this with conviction. Not the naïveté that I am all these years!

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As it turns out, he only have until this week to work with us. That was unexpected on our part. He will be serving his last duties at the other department. This means we have to adjust our schedules. And I know it's not gonna be easy.

Labels: friends, love, work