Let's see....

It's been 2 years now after the accident that, let me say, made a huge mark, disfigured my life literally and figuratively! and it has affected my over all being---negatively, I have to admit! Even if i said to myself back then, that I am ok,i'm cool, etc etc... I guess I just lied, to people and most especially to myself. I am not OK!

Let's see....

live in the now...

forget the past...

...and keep moving forward.

Those are three things thats been bugging me lately, aside from, of course, my being a hypochondriac, where which every slight change in my bodily function is always regarded to as symptoms of cancer. I can't help it. Since that day sometime in Febuary when I was admitted to the hospital for fear of having TIA (transient ischemic attack), I've been overly thinking and assessing every thing I feel in my body.

Even if I am acknowledging the fact that I maybe a hypochondriac I still feel some things going on inside me, malaise that is.

In every day, I consume hours worrying about my health. In order to interrupt my worries, I run around the house and get myself sweaty and tired. It helps for a while but in the event that I feel something again, there goes the worrying.

So for the past few days, I registered in my head those three things I mentioned above. It all applies to most things happening in my life lately, especially this paralyzing situation I have made myself. What bothers me is how to apply them. I mean I do know how but with the limited resources and the environment I am in, its just so hard to focus. But I'm trying my best "to keep moving forward" ... and i will, whatever it takes!


...and I will talk more about that when I get back with my needed privacy when I blog (people are around, I can't concentrate!)