In my last post I said I would say something about a life that I dreamed of, or more of an ideal life I have made up in my tiny brain.

I would say I want it simple. Simple as in I wouldn’t need anything in this materialistic world. All I ever wanted ever since I was a kid are four things: love, a considerable amount of money to sustain my needs, visits to America, and good health. Growing up adds things to desire: more money, sex, all the new things imaginable I could own, going places, more money, and more money!

None of those childhood idealism about living a life upon growing up came true. Haven’t found the love, haven’t earned the money that I need, haven’t gone to America, and sadly, in connection with growing up and because of not taking good care of the body, health is on the verge of failing. So as of now, I am like a child starting to dream the same things again. It’s like I’m back to step one of recreating what I should have created a long time ago. And cleansing all the dirt gathered the moment I stumbled. I still wanted the same things. I simply wanted a comfortable life meeting the demands of the ever changing world.

When I see and speak with people younger than me, I sometimes couldn’t help but be the person teenagers don’t like of a grown up. Like, how grown ups inculcate in young minds to be this and that. The good thing about how I say things over and over is that I say it in a way that they would do what I have not done for them to perceive a very good perspective about how to live life. I bring up the consequences of not being able to plan ahead and realize those plans as early as planning them. You see, by setting up an example, they would at least have the idea. You cannot correct a mistake for and from another mistake. We have to let them know about the mistakes we’ve done and the underlying consequences and hope that they wouldn’t do them.

In contradiction, some would say, each to his own. But that is not the case. Whether it is applicable to them or not, at least they have the idea of certain things.

These young people’s future is just about to start while my future is already a little step further, almost coming to an end. If I do not do anything, I might end in the gutter.

In this crazy world, we have to admit money makes everything. Money is everything! Without it, where would we be? Perhaps dead. You cannot do this and that without them. Unless I live in seclusion where natural resources are abundantly growing, the need for money would be less. Even then, the need of it is still there.

Then how do we get these need created by man? Jobs! Work on it. Earn it.

Now, that’s all I want, a job with no meager income. At that, I guess everything else follows. I would not hope much on the love side, though. It’ll probably just come. If not, God forbid, I’ll buy love instead!