You know, that's why I hate making new friends, clinging to them, and having just a boring moment turn in to a good waste of time, if you know what I mean.

You really don't hold what's going to happen and you cannot make everything turn out the way you want them to be. And that what sickens me. When you finally found someone you can hang out with, call as your friend, they suddenly leave. They leave not because something happened between the two of you but because they just have to leave.

And there you are, all the while thinking you and this people you suddenly become friends with will be together for, like, a very long time, suddenly disappeared into thin air. Poof!!! Reality check: everything is temporary. It hurts. It hurts to be left all alone.

It makes me think if they feel the same way I feel. That they feel sad because they have to leave "a friend" they newly made. Or, are they enthusiastic to dwell into a new adventure?

For whatever reasons, no matter what happens, life really goes on. And it should keep moving on.

For this low hearted monkey, it's just not the case. To me, my world suddenly stops. I am alone. I will have no one to talk to anymore.

Its strange how I feel like this. I mean, I have my own world. It emanates I don't really care about the world around me but the truth is, I am as conscious as a sleeping dog. Maybe -- maybe I just need to show a little bit of concern. Like care, like show that I am sad because people have to leave...that they just have to, well, leave.

I am nonchalantly going through every experience there is. Experience such as "good byes". But deep inside, I really feel like weeping.

I don't know. I think I should go back to drowning myself in books again, which I have started doing. I think I should just stay away in making new friends for a while. Especially here in this multicultiral community, people come and go.