It came to my attention why I started blogging anyway. Why?

Let me answer that in the normal free flowing thoughts. At first I decided to blog in order to keep me away from boredom since I will be stuck home for sometime. i dont know when will I be able to stand up and do my normal way of life as before and that means I will be a useless creature. In order for me to keep my senses, my skills, or whatever I am capable of doing when it comes to mental activities, I decided to blog. The thing is I dont know what I will be writing about. I am aware I dont know how to write nor express my thoughts in a formal less incoherent way and that will be too boring for any visitors here. Well - nobody reads anything in a certain blog like this which has long paragraphs and everything text so I am safe if no one reads here. If they just happen to be here by accident, then see in no attention what is in here then again I, for the love of God, am safe! They wouldn't notice my stupid nonsense rants. But for those who painstakingly read and decipher what i really mean in everything that i say, i praise and thank you for your effort.

I also decided to blog to update my friends about whats happening to me after the tragic turn of events while vacationing where home is, but I am not sure if they actually visit my blog. In case they dont, there are two things I have in mind why they dont. One: They are either busy with work to mix what they do with their online pleasure or/and they dont have easy access to computer much worse renting internet services in a cafe proved to be not included in their budget. And if ever they do they go to the most important thing there is: emails and friendster. Two: They don't really care about what I say or write since I am no good at expressing myself in writing. But no worries on my part, at least they wouldn't know my heartfelt thoughts or my intimate desires about sex, love, and some necessary evils. People whom I dont know that visit here are okay. They, afterall, don't know me personally, physically, so that wont do any harm at all.

I also blog so to enjoy myself online, express what i feel, what is in my deteriorating head. Other than that i cannot deny the fact that i want to be heard or at least be recognized for something - which I am really not sure of. When I decided to have a blog there were several ideas in my head as to what should I talk about. First, i thought to myself, I will share everything that happens to me. But I realized no one really cares what time i wake up, what I am doing or what I did for the day. Especially that there's nothing much to share about me since I am limited to the four corners of this house. Second, I thought of posting pictures of myself and whoever is in close contact with me here in the neighborhood but thats too risky since my neighbors might not like the idea of their picture posted on the WWW. However in some cases, I still will post pictures of myself and people whom I know. Then the idea of making a gossip blog. The problem is I dont really go for gossips or anything celebrity at all, only on a few instances where I am captivated by certain personalities in a way i cannot describe nor understand. I also tried raiding blogs with anything that will interest me but running on a dial up access and a slow computer drains all my energy. I still do raid blogs for information which I can share but then again, i told myself, "who the hell cares about what excites me anyway??"

I also thought about making a porn blog. The problem with that is that I have no access to anything porn except those free porn sites that actually has this annoying syware/adware and damn pop - ups along with it! So I rarely visit those sites. Another problem with having a porn blog is that, even if unsure, people who know me back in highschool and college as well as friends and family might accidentally be referred to this blog. I dont want them to think I've gone really perverted. In this country where a number of people like sex, do sex, like seeing naked men and women doesnt actually talk about it freely unless it is within the norm of every conversation or is talked with close friends. well - if I think about people broadcasting to the whole community about their sex life, or their voyeurism or fantasies about sex are crazy, then I am crazy. I wanna blog like it (which I am considering of doing now), then its like telling the whole world I am a perverted, maniac who wants nothing but sex sex sex - or cock cock cock~! But dont get me wrong. I am not a pervert, a maniac, but i like sex...well, who doesn't?

Well If we are to define the word "pervert"

per·vert (pr-vûrt)
tr.v. per·vert·ed, per·vert·ing, per·verts
1. To cause to turn away from what is right, proper, or good; corrupt.
2. To bring to a bad or worse condition; debase.
3. To put to a wrong or improper use; misuse. See Synonyms at corrupt.
4. To interpret incorrectly; misconstrue or distort: an analysis that perverts the meaning of the poem.
n. (pûrvûrt)
One who practices sexual perversion.

And if sexual perversion will be looked into

Noun 1. sexual perversion - an aberrant sexual practice that is preferred to normal intercourse
perversion
paraphilia - abnormal sexual activity
sex, sex activity, sexual activity, sexual practice - activities associated with sexual intercourse; "they had sex in the back seat"
anal intercourse, anal sex, buggery, sodomy - anal intercourse committed by a man with a man or woman
oral sex, head - oral-genital stimulation; "they say he gives good head"

Then I guess I am a pervert! Huuuuwwwwaaaaattt??? Nooh! It will be a long discussion to talk about all these. I still like the normal way of having sex but the gay sexual act will be contrary to what "sexual perversion" as defined (by the free dictionary) means. A series of debates will be concluded to answer all that. But one thing: what is right for you may not well ne necessarily right for them, or me.

Forgive me but there is a reason why I like sex - I dont get any!!! It is a common notion, which by the way in general, that once gay will always connotes sex, cock lovers, hungry for sex blah blah blahs. I really hate it when people label gay men like that since not all gay men are like that. Yes, for one thing which is true, they love cocks not cunts but it doesnt mean a gay man cannot live without cocks to suck or cocks to dominate them! Wanting a cock in a right time at a right place is always a must. Who doesn't do that? Be it homosexuals, heterosexuals, man or a woman, seeking for sex will always be at a right time and place. Alright, enough - before i go anywhere other than what my subject of this post is!

Then I also thought of browsing profile sites and giving comments to whatever I see which I like, dont like, agree on, don't agree on. The problem is, I am no comment-giver. I am lame in that area or let's put it this way

"I am no good at anything"

As well as looking intricately on KARMA, I cannot bear people telling me of what they think of me negatively. I'd rather not know it. But you see, i am a fool to want everything positive. Negativity is always a part of everything so, even if I abhor them, i will be forced to welcome them. Well - I will still browse profile sites and will post here only the best of my desires.


From the original question Why I started Blogging it seems i am talking about What do I wanna blog about?. So, what do i want on my blog? Let me divert my attention to that new question. Actually, I dont know where I am going but I am a fan of porn. Who isnt? I like seeing naked men stroking their cocks but that is it. It will not define me as a person nor will describe my entity. Why am I saying this? If I want to post naked men here why the lenghty explanation? This is for straight people who know me who happen to be here and will judge me negatively after. I guess its time to liberate myself. I like seeing men and if you have a problem about that ya straight people - melt and evaporate! Heheheh. I will and will always be gay and will like men (Sorry ladies) but that will not make me hungry for men nor cannot live without naked men or men alone. hehehehe So To those who know me who happen to be here, be you a family member or a close friend or who just happen to know me as I exist, do not judge me or think of me as a guy who wants nothing but sex. I am still the person that I am: No boyfriend since birth, "undersexed", silent but loud, loving but at times very mean human being. However, I have no control over whatever you say or think.

Anyway, this blog, from now on will be a sort of everything especially gay men. gay naked men. gay humor. everything gay. But i will make it as "wholesome" as possible so as not to shock my close friends whom I told about this blog. I will still mention little about what I do for a certain day, what i am thinking or in my bliss and sorrow just to balance everything. For now, I must eat breakfast and sleep. Its 6:15 AM.